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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793506">room 93</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixsunshine/pseuds/felixsunshine'>felixsunshine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>3racha is a thing in every universe, Alternate Universe, Boys in Skirts, Complicated Relationships, Falling In Love, Fluff, Inspired by Music, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Nipple Piercings, Partying, Short n sweet, Strangers to Lovers, Tattoos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:22:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25793506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixsunshine/pseuds/felixsunshine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Could we pretend that we're in love?" Felix asked, without thinking much about what this meant.</p><p>or: Felix's a cute and bright boy who's not looking for anything and likes to enjoy the moment. Chan also looks for nothing and is afraid of losing someone he loves, a person with a closed but golden heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>254</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. is there somewhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room<br/>Flashing those eyes like highway signs."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's funny how i started writing this out of nowhere. gladly, writing is something that makes me forget my worries (even if i write pretty bad)</p><p>this fic is based on room 93 by halsey... yes, the entire ep! so if you read this and listen to the songs you'll find a lot of similiar thoughts and that's the point.</p><p>this is much softer than it looks, trust me. the songs are all deep and indie but i'm a sucker for love.</p><p>reminder that it's only fiction haha it's not related to the boys in real life, please know that. just wrote for fun, sharing is caring. hopefully someone will enjoy it too.</p><p>little warnings: smoking, drinking, nothing much. family issues i guess? nothing much either. a looot of implied sexual content. it's not that explicit, obviously, but please, keep that in mind :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix was trying to show that he didn't want to let this go. Whatever <em>this</em> is.</p><p>He wasn't the best at showing his feelings, not that there were feelings at all. Chan doesn't seem to be the type to do relationships or look for something serious.</p><p>He knew only a few things and between them, his name: Chan.</p><p>Chan is a person he met at a party at Hyunjin's house. He didn't even want to go to a party, to be completely honest, but Hyunjin insisted that going out a little would make him forget his shitty life for a while.</p><p>He had a point but Felix was still not convinced and considered not going. He liked to go out sometimes, but today he was too lazy to give fake smiles. Hyunjin wouldn't be with him, he was sure, as the boy was a social butterfly and he would probably enjoy the time with Seungmin, his boyfriend.</p><p>Something inside told him to just fucking go, just this once. He decided not to ignore his instincts or his destiny or his life timeline, <em>whatever</em>.</p><p>He ended up meeting Chan at this party, an old friend of Hyunjin. Felix found him in a relatively empty corner and he had a full cup in his hands. Nothing alcoholic, to his surprise. The mysterious boy claimed that he wasn't interested in socializing today and that he never drinks anything that could potentially harm him. An irony, since soon after Felix discovered that Chan smoked. Just sometimes though, depending how difficult the day was. He also came to the party with his two friends, Jisung and Changbin, but <em>they were probably giving each other's head</em>. Chan's words, not his.</p><p>Felix immediately became interested as soon as he saw him. I mean, how could he not? Chan had a body that anyone could guess from afar that he surely spends hours at the gym. His face is delicate, his eyes bright and his style is simple, just black. That works for the tank top, ripped pants and sneakers, all black. His shoulders were broad and Felix could see that he had several tattoos on his right arm. Really pretty tattoos, he wanted to find out the meanings.</p><p>It's not as if Felix always hangs around chasing mysterious and pretty boys at every party, quite the opposite, he didn't even go to parties much. As he said earlier, there was something that pulled him to that place that night (leaving aside Hyunjin who begged him to get drunk and live). A wave of confidence also overtook him, he decided to take advantage of the opportunity and just <em>talk</em> to that tattooed boy.</p><p>He wasn't looking for anything or anyone. It just happened, as most things do and you can't explain it properly.</p><p>That's how the night life works.</p><p>After hours talking about everything and nothing, Felix was sitting right next to Chan in a garden at the back of Hyunjin's house. Both tired of the crowded place and the loud music. The house was full and it was amazing how many people Hyunjin knew. If he even knew all of them (something even worse).</p><p>Chan lit a cigarette and offered it to Felix, who refused just by shaking his head. <em>Tough day</em>, Chan said quietly, almost talking to himself. Felix barely heard him. <em>Been there</em>, he just thought in response.</p><p>He looked at Chan putting the drug between his lips and pressing the lighter, succeeding after two attempts. Felix could only think how much he wanted to feel those lips on his, to feel that heart-shaped lips against his skin.</p><p>Chan smiled at him, as if he could hear his thoughts and slowly let the smoke out of his mouth. Felix really wanted to find out more about those bright and somewhat sad eyes. Felix has always been good at reading people, even when he just met them.</p><p>He rested his head on Chan's shoulders, hesitating at first. Again, he didn't do this to strangers often, but with Chan he just felt the need to keep him <em>close</em>, to go to him, to put his head on his broad shoulders that seemed to be made just for that. For Felix. Chan said nothing, but he could feel that there was nothing wrong with doing that.</p><p>The next thing Felix remembers is that he was in a hotel room. He wasn't drunk, he hadn't even drunk anything, but he felt high. A little happier than usual, if he tried to explain. Perhaps that's the effect Chan has on him.</p><p>Felix had his arms around Chan, kissing his neck and carefully going towards the hotel bed. A typical hotel bed, white sheets, bright lights, a TV that would be useless and another small door, probably the bathroom.</p><p>Felix wanted so badly to leave marks on him, on his neck, to take out any sound that Chan could make. Chan also seemed to want everything just as much as Felix, although he seemed a more closed person than he was. Felix wanted him to be able to forget that tough day and just remember <em>him</em> from all of it. Whatever reason Chan had eyes so sad and tired, Felix wanted to make him forget for a moment.</p><p>Chan grabbed his face, making him stop kissing his neck and focus only on him. It was intimidating to see his eyes and his face so closely. Chan looked at him as if he could see his soul. He placed his hands on the back of Felix's neck and pulled him closer, kissing his mouth gently. Felix immediately felt the cigarette slightly but above all, Chan's lips were soft and he was <em>sweet</em>. So sweet that Felix immediately felt lost in his taste, wanting more.</p><p>He didn't like it that gentle, but he was going to keep it that way because Chan also seemed to want something more intimate.</p><p>Felix returned the kiss, letting Chan take over soon. Chan laid him on the bed slowly, as if he could break at any moment. Felix slid his hands down his back, slowly lifting his black tank top.</p><p>Chan quickly separated just so they could catch their breath. Felix put his hands up and held Chan's face, looking him straight in the eye.</p><p>"Could we pretend that we're in love?" Felix asked, without thinking much about what this meant.</p><p>Felix thinks maybe he fell in love tonight. Is it possible? Love at first sight? He didn't believe in these things. Maybe it's the desire talking then.</p><p>He really didn't want to fall in love, if that was really the case. But, he wanted to pretend he was. Even if only for one night, to be touched, to be loved. Being able to feel <em>anything</em> at all even for a short time.</p><p>Chan just kissed him again in response, his lips moving gently over Felix's. He took that as a <em>yes</em>.</p><p>Felix was feeling so high, so good for whatever reason and that wave of confidence was still in his body. He decided to stay on top of Chan, turning them over on the bed and sitting on his lap. Chan remained lying down, looking at him like stargazing.</p><p>Felix slowly unbuttoned his own white blouse and decided not to take it off completely yet. He noted Chan's slight surprise at seeing his nipple piercing. Felix <em>loved</em> to see every reaction. He knew the piercing looked good on him. He also wore blue shorts and tube socks. His beloved rainbow tube socks.</p><p>"I'll dance for you," he said, smiling, standing up. Felix knew he was looking good tonight and he was kind of cute every other day. He wasn't the king of self-esteem though. He just wanted Chan to think that he was irresistible and could anticipate being inside him.</p><p>Felix really danced for him that night, taking off his clothes slowly. Chan just stared with hungry eyes, but also bright ones. Not even for a moment Chan stopped treating him gently, and Felix almost wanted him to just do that, but he loved the sweetness just as much. He really felt in love like that.</p><p>Feeling Chan touch him just felt right and he felt so, so good. Like never before. And he didn't want to let this go.</p><p>He seemed to love Felix's nipple piercing, keeping his attention there for a long time and praising him nonstop. Saying things like <em>you're really pretty, baby</em> or <em>let me hear your sounds</em>. Chan really just praised him countless times and kissed all over his body. He fucked him slowly and Felix didn't want this to end. He was afraid he would never see him again.</p><p>He soon realized that Chan really wasn't exactly someone who dates and Felix would probably be just another one night stand. The only thing he did was fulfill Felix's request and pretend to be in love with him. But either way, he had to try.</p><p>"Is there somewhere you can meet me?" Felix asked, he could already see Chan looking for his shirt to leave.</p><p>Chan put on his tank top and sat down, stopping to look at Felix again, smiling sweetly. Felix took the time to admire his body, his face one last time. Everything about him was beautiful and Felix wanted more, to find out more about him.</p><p>The older boy leaned over and gave Felix a sweet kiss on his lips holding his chin, he smiled as he looked into his eyes so closely.</p><p>"Maybe," Chan replied, smiling. Felix could see his little dimples when he does that. It's cute.</p><p>Chan stood up again and continued to look for his clothes. Felix remained lying down, just watching him getting ready to leave.</p><p>He should probably go home too, but there was no one waiting for him so it didn't matter. Chan paid for the night so he would stay, even without his warm body next to him.</p><p>Felix lost himself in his thoughts remembering how long the night had been. How many empty smiles Chan had given him, how good he had felt in his presence. He talked to the boy so much but still seems to know nothing about him.</p><p>The night seemed so unreal that Felix even considered it not being real. Maybe Chan was just a ghost or an imagination from his crazy head.</p><p>Chan wrote his number on a small paper and left it on the bed, next to Felix. He kissed his cheek, taking longer than expected.</p><p>"Text me," he said last, an unreadable expression on his face. The next thing he saw, Chan was already walking out the hotel door.</p><p>Felix wasn't going to keep his hopes high, but that's something. He has his number. Maybe he can see him again.</p><p>He could only feel sorry for himself because he didn't mean to fall in love tonight. Of all things, this was the last one he expected.</p><p>He desperately wanted to be mistaken.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i separated though chapters just for the fun to give titles same as the songs haha</p><p>promise it gets better (i think)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ghost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I'm searching for something that I can't reach."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>He expected this already. He imagined this would happen.</p><p>After days taking courage to send a single message, Felix received no response.</p><p>After the first message, he sent two, three, <em>countless</em> times to the same number on different days. Not everyday, just constantly, but without any response.</p><p>He expected that.</p><p>Until about two months afterwards (he didn't count, he wouldn't waste his time like that), Chan replied. As if he wasn't a stranger, as if he hadn't disappeared for <em>months</em>. Felix didn't ask Hyunjin to talk to Chan about him, he wanted Chan to respond willingly. If he even wanted to respond at all. Felix met several people meanwhile, but for some reason he always ended up thinking about this tattooed boy. Nothing came even close to what he felt when he was with him.</p><p>Felix was actually impressed, he stopped waiting for a response. Honestly, he just kept texting to remember he hadn't invented Chan in his head.</p><p>Nothing relatively interesting happened in these two months. His life was pretty boring. He vented several times with Minho and Jeongin about Chan, making speeches about how incredible his kisses were. They probably couldn't take it anymore.</p><p>Just one thing changed: his hair color. Felix didn't like to stay the same for a long time, so he decided to try blue. His friends only knew how to praise him, Felix liked it too.</p><p>Had Chan changed something too?</p><p>He's suspicious to talk, but Chan looked even more handsome than the last time Felix saw him.</p><p>Strangely, they met exactly in the same hotel room. Number 93. The place was strangely familiar too and Felix dared to say he had missed the place. Or just Chan.</p><p>He was blond now, his hair longer but only a little. A few wavy strands by his face. It seemed more natural this time. Chan wore black, as usual, but that said more about him than anyone can imagine. His eyes still looked sad, but he hid it very, <em>very</em> well. Anyone else wouldn't notice that Chan had eyes so sad and tired, the boy was really good at pretending, but Felix knew better than that. Maybe it's because he always reads people so well, maybe it's his special connection with the boy. Either way, Felix wanted to see them shine more.</p><p>Since it had been a long time since they saw each other, Felix tried something different. A little surprise. He was going to wear a skirt, his <em>favorite</em> skirt. Maybe Chan would like that. Maybe he would hate it. Felix didn't care.</p><p>He didn't want to wear it just to impress Chan, he loved wearing skirts as much as shorts, he just didn't have many opportunities for that. And this was a perfect occasion.</p><p>Felix put on a light gray long-sleeved blouse with a small hood, one of his favorites too, and a blue skirt that wasn't so short, but short enough to show his legs well. The skirt came just above the middle of his legs and seemed to be made for him. The blue was a little darker than the blue in his hair. And of course, he couldn't miss his tube socks.</p><p>Chan seemed pleased to see him wearing a skirt and Felix, without realizing it, was immediately relieved. Chan didn't look so surprised actually, but Felix could see his eyes scanning his hair, smiling and then gazing over his legs.</p><p>"You look so pretty," was the first thing he said. Felix missed that voice and his smile. "Blue is your color."</p><p>He knows he's pretty today, but it's even better to hear it from Chan's mouth.</p><p>Chan's also beautiful, so beautiful. Black suits him well, but he seems comfortable with the blond.</p><p>After the awkward little moment they meet again and empty answers about how they were doing, Felix had his lips on Chan's again soon. He really had missed it, his body pressing against his. Chan's hands sliding down his legs and then lifting up his skirt slightly, exposing them even more.</p><p>He didn't want to know why Chan didn't answer earlier, honestly he didn't care about anything. The important thing is that he's right here and right now, physically well and his mouth as sweet as Felix remembered.</p><p>His <em>ghost</em>.</p><p>Chan had his hand on Felix's waist, squeezing lightly. Kissing him still with meaning, but eager this time. He wasn't treating Felix like he was going to break anymore and Felix wanted just that. He was wearing his favorite skirt but honestly couldn't wait for Chan to take it off.</p><p>Turns out Chan didn't want to take off his skirt, as if fate was going against him. Chan seemed to want to tease him. He wanted Felix to keep using it, claiming he was too pretty with the material.</p><p>Kissing Chan is always like being high, his taste is so good, so addictive. Chan kisses so well, fucks him so well. How could he not feel in love? Perhaps Felix was just too weak for pretty boys.</p><p>Feeling Chan inside him was heavenly and Felix didn't really remember feeling so complete before.</p><p>He waited and already prepared for Chan to leave right after but the older boy took care of him this one time, cleaning them both, placing kisses on his shoulders.</p><p>Chan pulled him close, cuddling him. His hands again around his thin waist and Felix loved it, almost melted with the affection. Chan continued to press light kisses on his shoulder from behind, massaging his belly and humming a song that Felix didn't know.</p><p>Everything was so sweet and Felix felt so comfortable in Chan's arms that he was soon closing his eyes. Feeling more sleepy than ever.</p><p>It felt like home.</p><p>"Don't be a stranger, please," Felix managed to say with his eyes closed.</p><p>"I'm no good for you," Chan whispered, his hands in Felix's hair, stroking gently.</p><p>"I hate when you leave though," Felix replied, confessing this little secret and letting his thoughts take over.</p><p>That's the last thing he remembers. Chan messing his hair, he singing softly, his voice like a lullaby in his ear and his warm body against his. </p><p>Felix was searching for something that he couldn't reach.</p><p>Chan wasn't exactly the type of person to stay.</p><p>He woke up feeling cold and couldn't find a body sleeping next to him, nor a hand hugging him tight.</p><p>Chan was gone, again. Disappeared like a ghost.</p><p>But Felix still liked it anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>uh... yes...</p><p>remember to drink water everyone hehe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. hurricane</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"And I found myself reminded<br/>To keep you far away from me."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Chan didn't take long this time.</p><p>They're going to meet at a downtown park. The sun's about to set and it isn't a very sunny day. In fact, the sun's a bit shy and the sky's full of clouds. Felix wanted nothing more than to see Chan's smile today.</p><p>Luckily, there was an empty bench that seemed to be reserved just for them. Chan put his arms around Felix's shoulders, sitting next to him. His thighs touching Chan's briefly and his right hand holding the one around him.</p><p>Felix felt the need to rest his head on Chan's shoulder again, just like the first time they met. So he did just that, Chan didn't even move at first. Felix felt safe somehow. Chan intertwined their fingers and Felix liked that. His hands much smaller than Chan's, actually. He wanted to hold his hand more often.</p><p>Slowly, he raised his head to look at him and Chan smirked. He couldn't beat the urge to kiss him, so he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Chan's gently. He hopes Chan isn't ashamed to see him in public or something stupid like that. There's always this fear, and it wouldn't be the first time someone doesn't want to hold him in public. But apparently that wasn't the case, as Chan happily returned the kiss.</p><p>"I like your tattoos," Felix praised as soon as they separated, looking at his tattooed right arm. "Any special meaning or?"</p><p>Chan lifted his arm around Felix's shoulder and watched his tattoos. He sighed, seemed to think whether he's really going to answer the question or not.</p><p>"The rose represents my mother, she loved roses. The sunflower's my father," Chan explained slowly. Felix could see that it's a rather sensitive topic. He pulled his sleeve up a little so Felix could see them better and pointed his finger at which tattoo he was referring to. "This 'three' represents my two best friends I told you before, Jisung and Changbin. We live together and make songs. This dog here is my daughter, Berry. And this moon, I... don't know. I just like the moon," he finished smiling alone.</p><p>Felix noticed how Chan referred to his parents in the past and understood they probably left him early.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Felix whispered kissing Chan's shoulder, looking at him worriedly. "I like the moon too, and I would love to hear your music."</p><p>"No, you wouldn't," Chan smiled, looking down.</p><p>"Yes, I would," Felix replied again. He slid his fingers down Chan's arm, watching each tattoo closely. They were all beautiful and Felix liked how they all seemed to sum up Chan's life, even if only a little part of it.</p><p>They knew how to be silent in each other's company. Something rare for someone you barely know, but for them it worked so well. Felix felt comfortable and he really whished Chan felt the same way.</p><p>"Tell me a secret," Felix asked quietly, without stopping even a second from touching Chan or holding his hand. He didn't want Chan to disappear again without him being able to see.</p><p>"I don't have anything as interesting as you think, my life's pretty boring," Chan assured. He thought for a second, two, <em>three</em>, until... "It's not really a secret, but I don't really like my birthday, or Christmas."</p><p>"So... you're the Grinch?" Felix asked jokingly. Chan couldn't help but let out a laugh too.</p><p>"No, baby. It's not exactly that. Christmas reminds me a lot of my parents and some bad memories also stayed in my head. About my birthday I just don't like the attention much and it's not exactly a celebration for me," Chan explained. Felix was impressed by how honest Chan was being with him and he appreciated it so much.</p><p>"I can understand that, but I wish you could enjoy that day, <em>someday</em>. Come on, it can be a special occasion to eat cake or whatever you like," Felix said, one of his thighs was over Chan's. He had one of his hands stroking them.</p><p>They were so clingy today, a dangerous territory.</p><p>"I have Sungie and Binnie, they always try everything so that I don't feel so bad. Without them, I probably wouldn't even be here," Chan confessed. Felix was immediately grateful to the two boys that Chan lived with. They seemed to love each other so much, it warmed his heart. "Your turn."</p><p>"Secret?" Felix asked, trying to pretend he didn't understand. "I'm an open book. If I think about it... there's one thing that I love to do, but almost <em>nobody</em> knows about it."</p><p>Chan raised his eyebrows in interest. It wasn't deep, Felix was just teasing him.</p><p>"I like to cook," Felix whispered. He smiled right away, embarrassed.</p><p>"This wasn't exactly what I was expecting," Chan confessed, smiling. "What can you cook well?" his gentle tone and big eyes made Felix melt inside.</p><p>"I really love baking chocolate chip cookies," Felix said and it was true. He loved making cookies and brownies. He just loved sweets a lot.</p><p>"They're my favorites," Chan replied with a sigh, suddenly hungry. Of course they were his favorites. Everything he had with Chan seemed to be just right. They seemed to have a special chemistry.</p><p>"Maybe we can do it together," Felix suggested. Maybe he was crossing a line, he didn't know. After all, they weren't boyfriends, they were nothing to each other, but Felix really wanted them to be something, <em>anything</em> else.</p><p>Chan remained silent, a expression that Felix couldn't decipher.</p><p>As if fate wanted everything to go wrong at the same time, they heard a loud thunder. The weather really wasn't the best today, that's a fact, but <em>really</em>? Raining? Right now?</p><p>Felix sighed, feeling drops of water on his face.</p><p>"I suppose you don't have an umbrella, do you?" Chan asked bitterly.</p><p>"I think this is a sign that we should go home and watch The Umbrella Academy," Felix said, laughing. The rain was already heavy, there was nothing they could do but run to a house or a covered place.</p><p>"Nerd," Chan replied, closing his eyes slightly so the rain couldn't stop him from seeing.</p><p>"It's just an excuse to call you over to my house. Please, come with me," Felix took his hand, already pulling him so he could stand up and they could run.</p><p>"I don't think it's a good idea," Chan said hesitating.</p><p>"Stop <em>thinking</em> for a minute. It's just my home, don't you ever get tired of the hotel room?" Felix asked pouting. Chan smiled, he just couldn't stand the rain anymore and ran along with Felix all the way to his house.</p><p>It was funny, really. The way they got tired from running, the way the rain had soaked them completely. Chan just followed him, and they couldn't stop laughing the whole way.</p><p>It's the first time that he sees Chan so loose, just giving in to the moment. He felt that he could finally reach him, somehow.</p><p>He opened the door quickly. Both relieved to finally be in a place without water angrily beating them.</p><p>Felix reached for a towel so they could dry off, at least a little. Chan seemed kinda lost in such a personal place. Felix took good care of his home, he lived alone so he was a little lonely sometimes. He had plants all over the house and some things that could make him endure everything. It's a personal place, but Chan is also his safe place, so he being here just feels <em>right</em>.</p><p>"Wanna take a hot shower?" Felix asked, Chan was clearly freezing.</p><p>"I don't have any other clothes to wear," Chan said, almost shyly.</p><p>"It's simple, just don't wear anything," Felix winked at him. "Kidding, but I won't judge either if you want," he continued making fun of him. "I have really big blouses. Just... don't think too much, remember?"</p><p>"What about you? You're wet, too," Chan asked, his hand holding Felix's hand tightly.</p><p>"I'm going to change my clothes too and dry myself well. I don't want you to get a cold, so please just go. I'll leave the shirt on my bed. I'll start making cookies for us, when you get out of the shower, you can help me," Felix replied kissing his mouth quickly. He really wanted to shower with Chan, but maybe another day.</p><p>Chan returned the kiss holding his face. He kissed Felix's cheeks last, showing that he was grateful for everything.</p><p>Making cookies for his one night stand wasn't exactly in his recent plans, but fuck everything planned. He also knew that Chan was much more than that.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Chan was scared.</p><p>He doesn't even remember the last time he was at someone else's house, the last time he kissed someone so lovingly or the last time he felt so good.</p><p>Every time he looked at the freckles on the boy's face, he felt weak. He had galaxies on his face, on his cheeks and a huge glow in his eyes like stars. His eyes pulled Chan in such a way that he felt <em>scared</em>.</p><p>He couldn't love another person, he didn't want to break his heart either.</p><p>He couldn't lose another person, not again. Chan promised that he wouldn't give himself to anyone else, but it's difficult when the younger boy simply looks at him with those bright eyes.</p><p>The only people he wanted in his life were Jisung and Changbin. Hyunjin too, since they're childhood friends. He really didn't want anyone else to mean something so important. He didn't want to lose anyone else anymore.</p><p>But just for that night, he would do what Felix said: <em>don't think too much</em>.</p><p>Perhaps that's the point, Chan hasn't been thinking much since he met Felix, and that's a problem. He felt adrift. He felt that everything could go wrong at any moment, and the last thing he wants is to hurt that boy so pretty, so pure. Felix's really like a sunshine and Chan couldn't help but look at him like he was in love.</p><p>He <em>couldn't</em> fall in love. Even though he felt like he was falling, he couldn't allow himself.</p><p>When Chan got out of the shower, he soon managed to find a shirt that Felix left on bed for him. It was really quite big, even for Chan and black, he noticed. He chose his favorite color, <em>cute</em>.</p><p>He could smell chocolate and hear music playing softly. Everything made him feel very much at home. He wasn't used to it.</p><p>His hair was still wet but he felt much better after such a hot shower. Felix's blouse was really comfortable too and Chan could smell his perfume slightly.</p><p>Upon arriving in the kitchen, his sight immediately made him smile. Felix with gloves in his hands preparing the dough for the cookies. The smell was strong so probably there were cookies already roasting too.</p><p>"Feeling better?" Felix asked as soon as he saw him, smiling.</p><p>Chan just nodded positively. He felt touched, everything was so familiar and being here with Felix felt right. But at the same time, his mind doesn't leave him alone and is telling him repeatedly that he doesn't deserve all this.</p><p>"Help me by squeezing the dough and putting it in the pan, baby," Felix asked sweetly.</p><p>Chan put on a pair of gloves as well and sat down next to Felix, copying his every move.</p><p>After a while, all the cookies were in shape and Felix just had to wait for the right time for each one to be ready. Chan couldn't wait to finally eat one.</p><p>They smelled <em>so</em> good. Maybe Felix was really a chef.</p><p>"Your hair's still wet," Felix sighed, suddenly worried that he would catch a cold again. "Come here."</p><p>Felix pulled him by the hand as always, leading him to his room. He started combing his hair and looked for a hairdryer in one of the drawers. Chan was definitely not used to someone taking care of him like that, but it was good, so good.</p><p>He started drying Chan's hair, making him close his eyes and just feel the hands on his head.</p><p>Chan, long ago, shortly after losing his parents, promised that he wouldn't approach anyone else. He really didn't want to lose anyone and the fear of falling in love was too much. But how could he not fall in love with Felix?</p><p>Have you met Felix?</p><p>Meeting this boy completely changes your life. If there is any doubt that there is still good in this world, Felix takes away all those doubts. He's the definition of being <em>good</em>. A truly sunshine, as Chan said earlier. Everything with him flows in a wonderful way and Chan feels alive.</p><p>Perhaps that's the biggest reason why he doesn't want to get so close to him, Chan doesn't deserve Felix by his side. Felix deserves someone who can make him happy. Truly happy.</p><p>After he dried his hair, it was all armed and wavy. It was his most natural hair possible. Felix laughed when he saw him.</p><p>"Your hair is much more beautiful like that, you should let it breathe more," he praised, fixing all the clumsy hair strands. Felix kissed the tip of his nose, and looked at him sitting on the bed.</p><p>"You're like a hurricane, did you know that?" Chan didn't even realize he was letting his thoughts out loud. Felix had that effect on him.</p><p>"Is that a good thing?" Felix asked, suddenly tense, but paying attention to each word.</p><p>"Everything that comes from you is good. What I meant is that, you completely messed up my life, my head, since I met you I can't fix this mess," Chan said quietly, he held Felix's chin and slid his fingers over his smooth skin. He couldn't stop looking him right in the eye, they shone a lot. "The storm we just faced, that's how I feel close to you."</p><p>Felix licked his lips and then rolled his eyes, smiling.</p><p>"Romantic poetry," he replied. Felix kissed Chan first, very softly.</p><p>Chan couldn't get enough of kissing Felix. If he could kiss him all the time, he would.</p><p>Just today, he was trying not to think too much.</p><p>It's working.</p><p>He wants to taste Felix's cookies and let them wash away all his worries. He wants to hold Felix's hand, just one last time.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. empty gold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"They can break our hearts, they won't take our souls."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>It's tiring. He felt like he was running in circles.</p><p>Missing someone so much is tiring. Everything could be much easier, but he fell in love with a person who's afraid to love. With a person who's running away from him.</p><p>Chan didn't sleep at Felix's house. Of course he didn't. He remembers Chan's arms hugging him into the night, probably around 3am and he really thought he was going to wake up in the morning and be able to see his smile.</p><p>But it wasn't the case. Chan had disappeared by the sunrise. He's unable to sleep with a person next to him, apparently. Felix was getting tired, he really acted like a ghost. He didn't answer for months again, he didn't let Felix love him right.</p><p>Felix needed to confess one thing to himself, to say it out loud: he's really in love with Chan.</p><p>Christopher, as he recently discovered his real name.</p><p>He could see the sparkles in Chan's eyes when he looked at him too. If he's really that good at reading people, he was pretty sure Chan felt the same way.</p><p>Same old thing: heart pounding at any sign of him, loneliness at not being around the person you love and these cheesy stuff.</p><p>They were actually falling down as fast as autumn leaves.</p><p>And he was afraid that, by the winter, they would let their hearts freeze. Felix couldn't let that happen, not when he felt so warm next to Chan.</p><p>It's tiring, because he can't reach Chan. Never, because he always disappear. His phone's useless, because he doesn't answer.</p><p>Three months. If you think about it, 90 days. So much can happen in a single day, let alone <em>months</em>. But the feelings he had for Chan, his heart beating so hard that he thought it was going to come out of his chest, it never went away, and it was very obvious what he was feeling.</p><p>Until the lucky day finally came. He felt that Chan wanted to leave him at any moment, but something always pulled him back. He couldn't let Chan disappear completely.</p><p>Chan left a small message asking if Felix could find him in the same hotel room.</p><p>Room 93.</p><p>Every time he sees Chan he's more sure of his feelings. He would be stupid to let it go, to let Chan go.</p><p>They said nothing when they saw each other after so long, both confused with the hide and seek, but missing each other's arms like crazy.</p><p>Could Chan love Felix the way he needed to?</p><p>"You stole my shirt," Felix pointed out. He didn't care, he actually loved seeing Chan wearing his clothes. The big black blouse he had chosen specifically for him.</p><p>Such a special day. The memories didn't leave his mind. The way Chan's lips formed a big smile when biting one of his cookies, the way he was completely cute enjoying something that Felix had done so fondly.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Chan said, looking quiter than usual. He looked really calm, maybe more tired than ever, maybe thoughtful. Felix wasn't sure, he wanted Chan to open his heart more.</p><p>"Looks better on you, anyway," he said, taking his time to watch the beautiful boy in front of him again. He's still the same.</p><p>Chan's so beautiful. He didn't get tired of saying it, over and over again. Chan's one of the most beautiful people he has ever laid his eyes on.</p><p>They remained silent for a moment, just enjoying the company and the relief of seeing each other again, even if it was in that simple hotel room.</p><p>"You're being a coward, you know that?" the first thing Felix managed to say. He just wanted Chan to allow himself to feel good things.</p><p>Chan could only look at his hands and bite his lip thoughtfully. Then Felix finally held his face so he could look at him in the eye, focus only on him. Felix tried to decipher everything, but it's complicated. He wanted to cry because Chan was clearly in pain, but he wouldn't let Felix help or get too close, otherwise he would walk away for <em>months</em>.</p><p>Felix pulled him closer, as close as possible. He could feel Chan breathing slightly like this. He kissed him, feeling Chan's soft lips over his. Felix kissed trying to show how much he wanted Chan, how much he <em>enjoyed</em> being with him. How much he wanted to save him of whatever he was going though.</p><p>"You always let me kiss you but you can't wake up just once by my side. Why is that?" he asked calmly. He really wanted to understand. "You're not the bad guy, why act like one?"</p><p>"I told you I wasn't good for you," Chan said. Felix really couldn't bear to hear the same horrible excuse anymore, so he shut him up, kissing him <em>again</em>.</p><p>"Then why I feel so good around you? I want to take care of you but you won't <em>let</em> me. Stop complicating things when you know you always want to come back to me," Felix tried, he kept his small hands over Chan's face, sliding his fingers down his cheek softly and always looking right in his eyes.</p><p>"I can't date you," it was hard for him to say that and Felix could feel it. He didn't know why he was torturing himself like this.</p><p>"Yes you can. I'm right here in front of you," Felix kept trying to convince him. He sat on Chan's lap, so the older boy leaned his back against the white hotel wall. It wasn't exactly here that he planned to make a love confession, but nothing ever goes as planned.</p><p>If there's one thing that Felix learned over a short period of time, it's that things never happen as planned, so fuck it.</p><p>"It's complicated, Felix," he tried to explain, smiling bitterly. "Why dating if people always break up? Having someone always ends in pain. I don't want to lose you. I can't hurt you, you don't understand," Chan sighed. Felix looking so closely he could see that his eyes were glowing, but probably because of the trapped tears there.</p><p>"But if you think that way, why live if we're going to die one day? You can't say you can't date me because we can break up. Can't you forget the future for a moment and just enjoy this beautiful feeling? What are the chances that I met you that night and feel as good as <em>never </em>before? Don't you feel the same way?" Felix almost begged for him to just give in, to just live without thinking about consequences.</p><p>Chan smiled softly, but he was sad, shaking his head as if looking for another excuse to give. Then he just leaned forward, giving up thinking, and kissed Felix once again. He slid his hands down Felix's thighs, the position allowing him to touch them freely. Felix adjusted himself in his lap, returning the kiss with the same meaning.</p><p>Their bodies pressed together, his head turning slightly so that he could deepen the kiss. His tongue was inside Chan's mouth and he could feel the fucking cigarette again. It didn't take away Chan's sweetness, but it did show that Chan had been smoking, so he had a bad day.</p><p>He separated slowly, like he didn't want to. He left a gentle kiss on Felix's right cheek, a small smile as he looked at him.</p><p>"I wish I could count your freckles. They're beautiful, you know that, right? There are a lot of them and I can't do math, but I can imagine small drawings, just like when we look at the stars," Chan said looking at him deeply. Felix put his hands over Chan's that caressed his skin and felt an urge to scream.</p><p>He was running from his feelings but how could Felix be mad at him? He was unable to do that. Not when Chan was such a beautiful, deep person. Many people may see him as just a cold boy, many would give up waiting so long to see him, but Felix saw much more than that. Felix knew that he had his reasons for not wanting to get involved in relationships. Felix knew he had a slightly dark past, but Felix just wanted to be that little light to his present, to his future.</p><p>He can only do that if Chan let him.</p><p>"You won't get away from it so easily," Felix said, smiling with Chan praising his freckles. And to think that, in the past, he didn't like them. "Be honest with me. Do you want me?" he asked, watching his every move.</p><p>"You know I do," Chan said, so quietly that Felix had to really focus on his voice to listen.</p><p>"So let me reach you," Felix begged, he almost wanted to cry. He wanted Chan by his side so much. He couldn't even explain.</p><p>Chan still looked unsure. He was tired, Felix could see. Maybe he didn't even sleep that night.</p><p>"Just kiss me <em>please</em>," Chan asked, the tone in his voice almost pleading.</p><p>Felix did just that, kissing him gently, trying to calm him down with each touch and each kiss. He pressed kisses to his neck, slowly going down his shoulder. His shoulders were so tense that Felix could feel.</p><p>He already knew every part of Chan's body and he loved each one. Chan also tried to touch him everywhere, lifting his shirt just a little, his hands dancing though his skin.</p><p>"Could we pretend that we're in love again?" Chan whispered as soon as he raised his head to look at him.</p><p>"I don't have to pretend," Felix confessed. He was being completely honest, he didn't have to.</p><p>It's so funny how every time Chan kisses and touches him, he can't contain his sounds. Felix's so sensitive and ticklish, and Chan treats him so well that he just can't keep quiet. Chan said he liked it, so he didn't care.</p><p>Chan kissed his neck, fully lifted his shirt and started kissing Felix's chest and abdomen properly. He focused his attention on his nipple piercing like the first time. Felix really loved that piercing and Chan also seemed to love, as he started to slide his tongue across the cold material.</p><p>He couldn't help but smile when he was with Chan, the boy was so adorable sometimes. Felix thought it was <em>cute</em> to see him so focused on his body. Chan continued to leave sweet kisses on his abdomen until he reached for his blue shorts.</p><p>"Can I take these off?" Chan asked looking at him, eager.</p><p>"Sure, baby," Felix replied, lifting his legs slightly to help him.</p><p>Chan was being so careful this time, everything just like the first time they met. He treated Felix like he was going to break at any second, like he was something made of glass and he couldn't fall. Like something made of gold and couldn't be scratched.</p><p>As soon as Felix was completely undressed, he focused on removing Chan's clothes too. He loved to see Chan wearing his shirt, but wanted him without it. He kissed each tattoo on his arm, making Chan smile as he looked at him.</p><p>Chan's abdomen was a part he liked and Felix was sure Chan liked it too or at least focused a lot on his trainings, so he decided to repay the effort and take the time to leave a lot of kisses there.</p><p>He loved every second of that day, just as he loved every moment he was in Chan's presence.</p><p>Love.</p><p>It's the only possible word to explain everything he felt.</p><p>He was in <em>love</em>.</p><p>He just hopes that Chan will be able to hug him all night. He just wants Chan to finally give him the pleasure of waking up in his arms.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>felix is just like ateez's song inception: i'm in looOOooOoove (attempt humor)</p><p>next and last one with chan's pov :(</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. trouble</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Set a fire in my head tonight."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>It's hard to give yourself to someone you love. It's hard to trust someone in the first place.</p><p>Chan was decided to not fall in love and not surrender to Felix, especially knowing that he didn't deserve him, but turns out he's weak. Weaker than he imagined.</p><p>Felix made him feel <em>weak</em>.</p><p>He fell in love fast, so fast he didn't even notice.</p><p>Jisung and Changbin always warned him to stop disappearing from the younger boy's life. They always said that Chan had a right to be happy, to finally experience something <em>real</em>. He never believed any of those words, but he knew deep down that his friends only wanted his well being. If it was the other way around, he would say the same sweet words, because they were the ones he loved most in the world. They still are.</p><p>He knew he didn't deserve even half of what Felix wanted to give him, but the boy had been so honest last night and it touched his heart.</p><p>It hurts for him to disappear for so long too. He really considered not answering Felix anymore and leaving the boy alone, but he couldn't. The longing almost killing him inside.</p><p>Felix's the most beautiful person in the world, with the purest heart out there. Chan's just a lost boy, who decided to close his heart after years of being hurted.</p><p>Maybe it's time to open it again.</p><p>He started by sleeping next to that beautiful boy who had found him out of nowhere.</p><p>Without even knowing it, Felix was saving him.</p><p>His relationship with sleep isn't the best. He has a hard time sleeping peacefully all night, but after a while feeling Felix's warm body pressed to his, he soon found himself closing his eyes. His hands around his waist, hugging him tightly.</p><p>He woke up first, since he <em>really</em> doesn't sleep that much. He tried not to move but Felix seemed to feel that he was awake and turned to look at his face.</p><p>Felix smiled at the sight of him right next to him, <em>finally</em>.</p><p>His sleepy face even more beautiful than when he had makeup on, it's unfair.</p><p>They said goodbye to the hotel room, hoping they won't be back anytime soon. Felix invited him to his house again and they managed to spend all day together peacefully.</p><p>Chan liked to be able to hold his hand so freely.</p><p>With his mind made up, everything was easier. Loving Felix wasn't complicated, but the easiest thing to do.</p><p>He just has to enjoy this beautiful feeling.</p><p>"Let's get out of here," Felix said at night when they were lying on the couch. "Let's cause a little trouble."</p><p>Chan could only follow him, just like he did the first time at the party.</p><p>They had a little adventure that night. Chan has never felt so alive before. It was one of the first times he didn't think about the consequences of tomorrow. He just didn't think about anything, as it should be.</p><p>Felix bought some drink and carried the bottle all night. Chan decided not to drink or smoke anything to take care of him properly, if necessary. He didn't like to drink at all, anyway.</p><p>It was late at night, so pretty much everything was closed. They just walked through empty city streets. Their only company were the streetlights.</p><p>"I wanted to go to the amusement park so bad," Felix confessed sighing, seeing the park right in front of him, mostly all lights off.</p><p>He didn't even manage to hold Felix's hand in time when the younger boy was already running and jumping over a long wall to be able to enter the park.</p><p>Unbelievable.</p><p>"When you said a little trouble, I didn't imagine it would be <em>literally</em>," Chan said, sighing. "How about we do nothing illegal?"</p><p>"Are you scared, big baby?" Felix asked laughing at him. Chan could see that he was a little tipsy, but nothing out of control.</p><p>"Not exactly. I just don't want anything to happen to you, sweetheart," Chan was genuinely concerned for him, but he tried again not to think so much. He wasn't so used to Felix's free spirit yet.</p><p>"I won't do anything, I just want to see the ferris wheel up close. Come with me, baby," Felix stretched out his hand so he could take it, he was sitting on the wall between the park and the street. Chan held on, helped him through and jumped right after.</p><p>The place was a bit dark, just a few attractions with lights on but no one around it, since it was closed. It was kinda scary but Chan thought it was funny to be here with Felix.</p><p>The boy really turned his life upside down.</p><p>"Haven't you seen the movies? Now is time for zombies to show up," Chan whispered, laughing alone. "Get ready to run."</p><p>He said the last part and actually started running towards the ferris wheel, seeing if his loved one would be able to reach him in time. It was really just them at the amusement park and they could do anything they wanted.</p><p>Chan could even see a small river beside the park. He missed the beach, the sea. He hoped to take Felix there.</p><p>The little run was enough to tire him out.</p><p>"Not everyone is an athlete like you," Felix said running after him. He caught up with Chan a few seconds later, already in front of the shiny wheel he wanted to see so badly. Luckily, they didn't actually got in trouble.</p><p>It was a really beautiful view and he had never been there before.</p><p>"So shiny," Felix said with big eyes scanning the place. "We can come here again, when it's daytime and when we can <em>actually</em> be here," he said the last part laughing, laughing too much for a sober person.</p><p>"Yes we can, baby," Chan replied laughing too, watching his every move, and making sure Felix doesn't fall on the floor.</p><p>He also felt dizzy, not because he was drunk, but because it was unreal to be here in this place with such a wonderful person.</p><p>When reality finally hit him, Felix insisted that they had to get out of there as soon as possible. They ran, ran and <em>ran</em> a lot that night.</p><p>For the first time, Chan wasn't running away <em>from</em> Felix, but running away <em>with</em> him.</p><p>That's true freedom: doing whatever he wanted, without worrying. Without eyes that could judge them. With nothing but each other's company.</p><p>After running away from the park, Felix wanted to go somewhere else before he could go home. Before <em>they</em> could go home and just hold each other, probably watching some horrible netflix movie until they could sleep again.</p><p>"I want to dance for you again," Felix said, looking into his eyes. "Actually, I want us to dance together."</p><p>They walked to a small party going on in the city, where teenagers always think they'll never die and the night is endless. They entered without much effort, Felix finally throwing the drink bottle away and pulling Chan by the hand.</p><p>As if the night were written in a script, the first music was slow. Perfect so they could dance together.</p><p>Felix put Chan's hands on his waist and pulled him impossibly close. Chan could only smile. There weren't as many people as there are usually at parties, not as many as the party at Hyunjin's house months ago. The only person he could focus on was right in front of him, with a face very close to his.</p><p>Chan pressed their foreheads together and Felix slowly guided him to the music. He wasn't used to it, to be so in love with someone, to feel that he could fly at any moment.</p><p>He had a small feeling that his parents would probably love meeting Felix. They would treat him so well, Chan could even imagine the perfect scenario. He hopes that both of them are watching their son finally feel some kind of happiness, wherever they are.</p><p>He couldn't see Felix well with everything so dark, but he could feel his breath. He finally closed the small distance between them and started kissing the boy's lips, all while still dancing to that horrible slow music for a party.</p><p>Chan stroked the side of his cheek gently, his lips kissing Felix's soft ones. Gently opening his mouth, Felix took the opportunity to kiss him more deeply. It was the best feeling possible to feel his loved one smile between kisses. There seemed to be nothing around them. The world could end here and now that Chan would be happy to be kissing Felix.</p><p>"Please, don't forget me," Chan said when they finally broke apart. They were still trying to follow the music, almost stepping on each other's feet.</p><p>"I wouldn't leave you even if you'd let me," Felix replied, kissing Chan's mouth again. He bit his lip lightly, pulling it towards him. And to completely melt Chan's heart, Felix kissed his dimples, which appeared when he smiled like an idiot.</p><p>There was so much uncertainty about the future that Chan still had, but he knew he wanted Felix by his side. He had to try to be happy again.</p><p>After all, that's what life is about, right? Finding someone or something you love, be a friend, be your own family, be <em>anything</em> worth trying to live for.</p><p>He just had to learn to stop suffering in advance.</p><p>He just had to let that <em>hurricane</em> mess him up even more.</p><p>Felix hugged him really tight, holding like he was going to disappear, but he wouldn't. He didn't want to be a <em>ghost</em> anymore. Chan hugged him back, kissing his head and lightly stroking his nape.</p><p>In his arms he would always be safe.</p><p>In his arms he could always be free.</p><p>He felt his heart almost burning with <em>love</em>.</p><p>Love.</p><p>He loved that boy. He didn't have to pretend ever again.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeet! actually i didn't like this ending much i'm not sure, just wrote what i was thinking for a while yknow. it's what i like about fiction everything is possible sjhdjd sorry if i disappointed pls i tried...</p><p>thank you halsey noona for making room 93 haha and i'm grateful to anyone who took their precious time to read my shitty story about these amazing songs, really!</p><p>if you tell me what you thought i would be incredible happy :( i SWEAR i'll try to be the nicest person ever and send you virtual hugs (me begging for your feedback, lack of affection)</p><p>but it's okay if you're lazy too lol i just hope that all of you are taking care of yourselves! you're really precious and you all worked hard, doesn't matter what you did today :]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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